I regularly use customized 360 assessments in my consulting practice. After a couple meetings with the client and some candid conversations with peer, up-line and down-line employees, I design a set of questions that cover eight different quadrants having to do with workplace relationships, leadership, and communication. A specified number of participants complete an anonymous online survey answering questions about the individual I’m coaching. After those results are collected and averaged, the results are placed into a bulls eye graph. The center of the graph represents the ideal across these eight quadrants. After charting the anonymous scores, I have the client complete the same survey answering honestly about themselves. When I chart their self-scores I consistently find that the majority of people see themselves not just different than the input I’m collecting from others; they also tend to see themselves more favorably than others see them.
Blind Spots – Everyone has them
Heidi Grant Halvorson wrote in her article for the Harvard Business Review, there is “remarkably little overlap between how other people see us and how we think we are coming across.” I’ve seen some people who are exceptions to this observation, but my experience tells me Heidi is dead on. On a 5-point scale, I regularly see perception gaps of 2 to 3.5 points separating the individual being coached and the 360 group.
So how do you close that gap? Our blind spots are blind spots as a direct result of remaining unseen to us.
Here are some steps you can take today to close the perception gap:
1. Take an opportunity to revisit conversations (particularly difficult ones)
I call this circling back around on people. “Hey about that conversation we had earlier… is there something I could have done to make that less awkward or that would help me in future interactions with others?” You will catch people off guard, and you will always have to pry behind the “I can’t think of anything,” because people always think of things; they just aren’t used to saying them out loud.
2. Start paying closer attention to non-verbal cues
You will have to clear your presumptions first. Many of us enter conversations with others focused on the message or content we want to get across. What this does is create a bias that makes non-verbal communication an indication that the person listening is the problem. It is possible that their inattention, poor eye contact, clenched jaw, pursed lips or defensive posture is an indication that they are not in the best mood, or they don’t want to be bothered by this issue right at this moment. It is more likely, however, that they are reacting to something in our approach or mannerisms that we are overlooking or ignoring.
3. Ask for constructive, specific feedback
This will take some courage, but the rewards are well worth it in closing the self-perception gap. The critical element is that you ask for constructive feedback that is specific. I’ve asked people for a quick assessment before by saying, “How do think that went?” That question usually invites a “fine” or “great” which are nice, but not very helpful. I’ve learned to ask specific questions like, “Did I come across too rigid” or “How could I have addressed this better than I did?” Specific questions let people know that you’re not just fishing for compliments, and they get you much better perspective-enlarging feedback.
Have you come across any other tips or tools that help you see yourself more accurately?